Finally, my examination result is here..honestly, i don't feel anything..scared, nervous or what so ever symptoms that usually will occur when you want to check your results...
It was a very tiring day..since 2.00pm i had been pressing the refresh button at my lappie so that i can enter the student portal...my oh my this has never occurred to me..it took me 11 hours to finally check my results..huhu
So..what's my result like?
Disappointed..unbelievable...i feel like i had been curse...after i seen it, my vision was blurry and i can feel my tears flowing down my cheek..
What have i done?why i only get this much?is not that i do not study at all..i thought that i can do better than this..
Why i have to endure this again?why do my friends can pass with flying colours?why i can't be just like them?they can do it..so why can't i?
Is so hard especially when you already experience it before...time is running out..at that same point..i wonder am i really capable to take this degree?i feel like i had been drag down..i have no faith to continue this degree...
I told my parents about it...well they can see it in my eyes..i could not speak when they ask my result..only tears can tell them how frustrated i am...
i feel so bad..ashamed..but what can i do?i can't turn back time..the only thing i can do is to face it...is so hard but i know i can do it...thanks to my mum...she really makes me calm even though i know she is disappointed..my dad?i guess he is the most disappointed...i can barely see his face..dear abah..i'm so sorry...
how i wish i was in my diploma when i always got good marks...dean's list etc..i feel like i belong to pharmacy back then..but now,somehow i feel like i don't belong there..
Why can this occur to me?is it because i can't focus?i don't want to blame the past for ruining my education..but sometimes i did..huhu
Right now, i just want to calm myself..pray to God...ask for His guidance and strength..only He knows best..Dear Allah, i believe that everything happens for a reason..please Allah..whatever it is..let me try my best to finish this degree on time and make sure i can increase my pointer back..insyaAllah...i really need to put more effort...
All i can think now is my mum,dad,family,friends and my future...failure does not mean it is the end of the world, it is just the begining of a better future..the better me~
2 comments:
be strong intan..
i know u can do it..=)
remember intan; falling down is not a defeat, real defeat is when you refuse to get up.
jgn give up ok, n jgn rase tak layak, sebab kite semua dpt offer yang sama dulu, based on kelayakan yang sama. if you don't deserve it, you won't be here. we're already halfway there, be strong! :)
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